Monday, January 30, 2012

Her lips were red

Yesterday Shelby wore red lipstick.  It was Sunday so we were at church and a lot of people saw her.  No biggie, right? Well..let me explain...

Shelby has large, beautiful lips.  Larger than normal lips.  Angelina Jolie lips.  I don't know where she got them.  They are a gift from God,  I'd say. 

She was allowed to wear make-up starting in 9th grade (this school year).  In preparation, she and I had many conversations about the way to wear make-up.  What looked modest and what didn't.  I told her that she should not "pile it on" that less really is more.  She doesn't "need" make-up.  She "wants" to wear make-up. She is a girl and it is fun to add some color here and there.

We also discussed, beforehand, that she should not accentuate her eyes AND lips at the same time.  Yesterday she wanted to put red lipstick on.  She put very little eye make-up on. She was following what she and I had discussed before.  I knew she had it on.  We talked about it that morning.  It was all good until someone decided to make a statement about her red lips.

This person thought it was ok to tell my daughter what they thought about her red lips and what they thought was appropriate.  They felt that a certain age was needed to be obtained before she should wear red lipstick.  They asked Shelby her age and she wasn't at that "ideal" age so when she answered she said she was never so embarrassed to be her age. 

Thinking about this later, I was really quite upset.  I don't understand why someone would intentionally make my daughter feel embarrassed or less because she wasn't follow what they thought was "right".  She was well within our guidelines as a family.  I was completely aware of her choice and totally supported her.

Shelby is an amazing girl.  She has high academics.  She has good morals.  She believes that "true love waits".  She has a killer sense of humor.  So many attributes that we are so proud of.  I know that this incident will not weaken any of these attributes.  But it might to someone else. 

All this to say, I really hope that the next time someone tries to instill their beliefs into my child, that they stop and think first.  Maybe talk to us, her parents, first.  I know they weren't trying to be mean, but sometimes what we say doesn't always come across they way we mean it. 

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